Three confessions
by RedHatMeg
Summary: Father Lantom listens to confessions of three Murdock family members.


**So after my last story I had this idea of father Lantom listening to confessions of three memebers of Murdock family. Most of this is my speculation, like my re-imagining of how Matt's confession went on before the cut to the traffickers.**

 **Also - this is my idea of Granny Murdock XD.**

 **Three confessions**

 **One**

Father Lantom has just been transferred to Hell's Kitchen. He's a young priest, already experienced with the traumatic events from his earlier work in Rwanda. He doesn't expect to find peace in some minor parish in New York, but he kind of hopes for it. Yes, Hell's Kitchen isn't a place free from crime, but he thinks that after what he saw in Rwanda, it can be only better.

It's late morning and he's sitting in the confessional booth for everybody who would wish to confess their sins. A woman in her late fifties enters the booth.

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned." She begins, her voice quiet, but hearable.

She says it was three weeks since her last confession. Her sins are mostly related to her wrath – she gets angry very often and she sometimes says things she regrets later. She also can't make herself like her new daughter-in-law.

"I just… sometimes feel so lost, father. My Jacky is getting himself into trouble constantly. Do you know, where he works, father? He's a boxer. He beats people up and he lets himself be beaten up for money. I'm worried that he will one day get killed. Or worse – _he_ will kill someone."

Father Lantom tries to remember how "Jacky" looks like. But he was transferred only recently, so he doesn't know who is who yet.

"Is he prone to brutality?" He asks.

"He's a Murdock, father." She replies. "The Murdocks… they got devil in them."

 _So this is Mrs. Murdock_ – Lanthom makes a mental note.

Mrs. Murdock continues:

"My husband's father was a very calm man. He came to this country to escape hunger and he only wanted to live happily. But you know, how Americans felt about Irishmen, father. He had to fight often. I've never saw him during the fight… But I've seen my Franky. When Franky was provoked to brawl, he was becoming a beast." Her voice starts to shake. "My sweet, caring Franky was the devil."

"Was he like that at home?"

"No!" Mrs. Murdock seemed to be offended by the suggestion. "He was a man of good nature, loving husband and father. Never laid a hand on me, nor on Jacky. But when he fought, he was becoming a different man. More… ruthless."

"I see." Father Lantom straightens himself. "And Jack is like that on the ring?"

"I've seen him fight only once, father. At first he seemed to be just… unmoved. He let the other man punch him, but after some time he started to fight back and then I saw it in his eyes. The same thing I've seen all those times when his father was fighting. The devil."

"I see." The priest repeats. "Tell your son to come to the parish. I will try to speak with him."

"Thank you, father." She sounds really grateful.

He gives her absolution and penance, and then she leaves.

For the next few days father Lantom waits for Jack Murdock to meet him. When the boxer doesn't come, father Lantom starts to discretely ask about him. He even comes to the place where the ring fights are taking place. There he sees a young, dark haired man hitting the punching bag. There is no fury, no so-called devil. He looks normal. But the priest guess it's not the right circumstance. To witness the "devil", father Lantom has to see Jack fight with a real human.

Father Lantom feels the urge to come to him and start the talk… but he surpasses it immediately. He thinks that if Jack didn't want to come earlier, he didn't feel like to talk. And father Lantom doesn't want to force him, because the boxer won't open to him anyway.

So father Lantom leaves, but before closing the door, he catches Jack Murdock stopping his training and looking at him.

 **Two**

Father Lantom has to wait five months, but Jack Murdock finally comes to him. The young boxer enters the confessional with uneasiness, like he's expecting something horrible to happen in this little booth.

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned."

His last confession was three years ago. During that time Jack Murdock offended God with such sins as gambling, not listening to his mother and occasionally beating people up.

"I know I was never a very good person, father." He chuckles quietly. "Not very bright, either." He saddens. "All my life I didn't care about my education or about my soul. I was skipping the mass, I was losing money, I was looking for a fight… I wasn't thinking about the man, I'm slowly turning into. But now everything's changed."

Jack pauses. For a moment they both listen to the silence, as father Lantom waits for his confessor to continue.

"I will be a father, could you imagine?" Jack chuckles again, but his laugh seems devoid of enthusiasm. "My Maggie will have a baby."

"Child can bring light to every life, my son." Father Lantom replies.

"So they say. You know, the moment when she told me was the most beautiful moment of my life. But then…" Another pause, this time longer. Father Lantom can hear the sadness lingering in the air, before Jack moves on: "But then I've realized something that spoiled this wonderful moment."

"What was that?" The priest asks.

"Child should look up to their father. The father should give them safety. Teach them what is right and what is wrong. I don't know it myself, how am I suppose to…?"

"The moment you've entered this confessional, you proved that you know at least some of it." Father Lantom cuts in. "I may not know you very well, Jack, but you seem like a far better person than you think."

"From the moment I've found out about Maggie's pregnancy, I was thinking about my life. About the chances I wasted. About the legacy I will leave to this child. I'm nobody. A man without morals. And without future. The only thing I know, is how to get a beating and screw up everything I touch. What use will have a baby of father like this?"

"It's never too late to change your ways, Jack. You can still make your child proud. You already love them and this is the good start. Now, you have to try. Try hard to show them what's important and what is not. You won't let them repeat your mistakes. You will teach them about good and evil. But most importantly, you will love them, because ultimately that's what all children need."

"It sounds so simple, when you say it like that, father…"

"Raising a child is never simple. But believe me, Jack, you can do it."

Another chuckle.

"My mom used to say: 'Be careful of the Murdock boys. They got devil in them.' She was right, you know. I can feel the devil, when I'm fighting on the ring. Sometimes I'm scared of myself. What if I one day hurt the child? Or Maggie, for that matter?"

"Did you ever hit your wife?"

"No, never! I'm always leaving the devil on the ring."

"See? It's not so bad. I'm not saying that releasing the so-called devil on your opponents is good, but you can restrain yourself. You won't abuse your family, Jack. I can already say that you will do everything to keep them safe."

There is another pause as Jack is trying to process what he just heard. Through barred window between them, father Lantom can see the boxer smiling lightly. Jack leaves the confessional, hopeful for the future. He comes back on the next mass, and the next one, and the next one… He and his wife become a more frequent guests in the church.

Nine months and two weeks later father Lantom baptizes Matthew Murdock – a son of Jack and Maggie Murdock. And observing a young father during the ceremony, the priest can't help but smile of the happiness and love radiating from the boxer.

From Sunday to Sunday, he watches the boy grow. He's there, when Matthew is learning the basics of Catholic faith. He's there when the boy goes to school. He's there when Jack's wife abandons him and their child. He's there when the accident takes Matt's eyes. And he's there, when the boy is orphaned.

When Matthew is sent to orphanage, father Lantom loses him from his radar and for years hardly hear anything about him. Sometimes he's wondering what grew up from a blind son of the boxer.

 **Three**

Father Lantom is an old man now, rooted in the community and humbly doing whatever he takes to help their members, especially after the Incident. Occasionally he hears a rumors about a masked man attacking the criminals. He doesn't like that someone is taking the justice in their hands, but he doesn't know what he can do about it, either.

Until one evening Matthew Murdock decides to go to confession.

Father Lantom suspects it's him, due to the color of younger man's hair and the white cane he's carrying.

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned."

Matthew says it was too long since his last confession. His next words only confirm father Lantom's suspicions about his confessor's identity.

"My dad used to go to this church back when I was a kid. He was a fighter. An old school boxer."

At this moment everything is clear. At this moment father Lantom knows that Matthew Murdock is back. But he doesn't say anything. He just listens.

"Lost more than he won, you know. 24, 31 record… He could take a punch. Jesus, he could take a punch…"

"Language." The priest can't help himself.

In the silence of the confessional, Matthew says sorry and continues talking about his dad. From the sound of his voice and from the way he's smiling, father Lantom see the boy's pride of his father. No matter how many times Jack Murdock was failing or what he was thinking about himself, his son keeps him in high regard. For Matthew, Jack wasn't a loser by any stretch – he was a strong, tough man.

"He never got knock out, my dad. A knock down, sure, but… always got back up. He was always on his feet, when he lost. Every now and then… Every now and then he got hit, something inside him snapped."

The tone is different. More serious.

"My grandmother, she was the real Catholic. Feared God very deeply. You would like her."

Father Lantom remembers an old woman telling him about her father-in-law, about her husband, about her son… and about "the devil".

"She used to say: 'Be careful of the Murdock boys. They got devil in them.'"

And so the devil comes up again. But this time father Lantom hears a more closer description.

"You could see it sometimes. On the ring. His eyes gone dead. He started to walk really slow. His hands slide like he wasn't afraid of anything. And when the other guy had seen that look, he tried to run away. My dad was catching him, trapping in the corner. Let the devil out."

It's interesting how all three generations of Murdocks were mentioning this "devil". How they kept telling the priest about the so-called devil being released during the fights. It's a sign that they didn't consider this fury as natural in anyway. Father Lantom could easy give more grounded names to "the devil" – rush of adrenaline, for example.

"I didn't understand it." Matthew continued. "What he was feeling deep inside, I couldn't understand it."

A long pause and…

"Not back then."

"But you understand it now?" Father Lantom speaks up. He's kind of afraid of what he's going to hear. What kind of sins this young man has committed? "Perhaps it would be easier, if you try to tell me what you've done."

At first Matthew doesn't says anything. He just put his glasses on. A moment of silence, before he speaks again:

"I'm not seeking the penance for what have I done, father. I'm asking for forgiveness for what I am about to do."

"That's not how it works, son." Father Lantom turns to him. "What exactly are you going to do?"

And so Matthew replies. He tells the priest of the human traffickers at the docks, who are planning to send some kidnapped women away. Matthew is going to rescue this women, while beating their oppressors up. That is the moment when father Lantom realizes another thing.

Metthew Murdock is a masked man everybody is talking about.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Father Lantom responds. "I mean, no offense, son, but I don't think you can handle few armed men."

Matthew only chuckles.

"Don't worry, father. I can take care of myself."

"Maybe you should call the police? If you know where the trafficking is taking place…"

"I've tried. They didn't believe me. Police won't help these women."

"And you will?"

"Father, please." He cuts in. "I can't sit here all night. It will start soon."

For a moment father Lantom contemplates this odd situation. He can't give this man absolution and he's aware of the fact that trying to stop him is futile. Matthew's mind is set on this mission. Besides – if what he's saying is true…

"I have to go, father. I can't stay here any longer." Matthew says suddenly.

He leaves the confessional. Father Lantom does it to. Matt makes sign of cross, and then slowly, with cane hitting on the bricked floor, directs towards the entrance.

"I guess, I will have to ask for absolution another time." He says, while leaving.

Father Lantom thinks about this encounter for the rest of the night and for next few days. He wonders what Jack Murdock would say about his son's night endeavors. Or what Mrs. Murdock would say, for that matter. For some reason, father Lantom expects to not see Matthew Murdock again.

But he does, sometime later. Matthew is sitting on the bench in front of the church. So the priest approaches him and offers him some coffee. This is the first real conversation he has with the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. And first of many, when he will try to talk some sense to him.


End file.
